26 Feb A Letter To My Husband: After Having Kids
With all the hustle and bustle of our crazy life, I’ve only been vocal when something was bothering me. Although I try my best to teach the kids to be grateful, I wasn’t practicing it. I haven’t been very expressive on what I appreciate about you. So as we celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary, allow me to tell you what I think and how I really feel.
8 years… It has been one hell of a roller coaster ride!
The First 2 Years Were Fun
All the traveling, all the weekends spent doing nothing, all the binge watching, all the partying made the first 2 years of our marriage fun! The part where it’s just you and me, back when we can do whatever the hell we want.
We wanted to go out on a date as often as we wanted, we did it! And sometimes we even ran out of things to do because of how often we went out. We wanted to sleep in on a Saturday and skip breakfast, we did it just because we could! We wanted to go home to the Philippines, you bet we did it! It was like living the dream!
And Then We Had Kids
It was as if reality had slapped us in our faces. Life bombarded us with sleepless nights, diaper changes, daycare expense, unending sibling fights, bills, and kids who are completely dependent on us to function.
For the first few years, we did try our best to spend some time for ourselves after the kids had gone to bed… until recently when my energy has been drained. I find myself ALWAYS EXHAUSTED! I can’t even stay up past 9 PM most nights. So the “us time” at night has lessened until it completely stopped.
I Am No Longer Ecstatic
Thinking about you, about us, about our future used to make me feel ecstatic; it doesn’t anymore since becoming a mom. Instead, I feel relieved. The kind of relief that you feel when you’re so at peace with what you currently have; and because I know that whatever happens, I can always rely on you to be there for me, for us. I feel a different kind of happiness within me. I feel complete.
Having kids did change everything for us. It changed our goals, it changed how we view things, it changed our decision-making process, and it even changed the way we want to do things. But it also opened our hearts to a deeper kind of love; the kind of love that we have right now.
Our Love Story Is Not A Fairy Tale
Although it did include me leaving everything behind and risking everything just so I can be with you, our love story will never be close to a fairy tale. And that is totally fine, because our love is real. As real as the messy house that we go home to every single day, the pile of unsorted laundry in the kids’ old crib, the tons of toys sitting on our living room when the play room is downstairs, or when someone would kick and punch me in the face as the four of us sleep in one bed.
But You’re Still The Answer To My Prayers
Even though a lot has changed in the last 8 years, I still sincerely feel that you are the answer to my prayers. And every night, when I pray before going to bed, I still thank God for sending you my way.
I know I don’t say this enough but I am grateful for everything! Thank you for cooking dinner on weekdays just so I have time to work on my businesses. Thank you for preparing breakfast on weekdays so I can sleep in. Thank you for your continuous support in whatever it is I want to pursue. And most of all, thank you for everything you do for me, and for our family.
I love you!
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What did you think of this post? How have things change for you and your partner after having kids. Let me know in the comments. You know I always love to hear from you.