It’s almost Thanksgiving and you’ve probably seen a lot of posts about being thankful for all the blessings they’ve received, their family and friends. While I am also absolutely grateful for all these things and more, this year, I want to focus on the bad things that happened to me. It’s not every day you get to hear someone say “Be thankful for the bad things in your life”. It’s hard to be thankful for them when they hurt you, when they make you live your life in fear, when they make you angry, or when they leave you devastated.
Let’s be realistic here! I am absolutely aware that bad things happen everywhere, every single day. Whenever the news is on or when I check my Facebook feed, I always see horrible things happening everywhere. Accidents, crimes, tragedies, attacks, or something that you and your family are going through or have gone through. I get it, it’s scary and it makes you feel all sorts of emotions you shouldn’t be feeling. And I can’t blame you! To be honest, I am scared too! I am scared for my kids especially with all the violence that’s frequently happening! I truly hope that all these terrible things that are happening around us will just stop. But they probably won’t. And given that, we can’t always live in fear and anger. We can’t keep on questioning why things have to happen all the time. We must not wallow in sadness. It’s time to start looking at these bad things at a different way; maybe then, we will realize why we should be thankful for them. It’s our first step to move on and recover from these bad things.
Today, I am sharing some of the bad things that happened to me; the ones that made me feel a roller coaster of emotions; the ones that shook me to my core.
My Mom Was Abducted
Last year, my mom was asked to meet a person (Woman 1) she hasn’t met yet by someone she truly trust (Woman 2). But she ended up being abducted by Woman 1, along with 3 accomplices; and as it turned out, Woman 2 was the mastermind. They tried to extort money from her and had called my dad multiple times to ask him to deliver the money to a certain place; but they were unsuccessful so they dumped her to a deserted place. Luckily, someone helped her out and brought her to a police station where I was able to get in touch with her. When I called her at the police station and I heard her voice, I couldn’t explain what I felt. I wanted to scream and cry; I felt angry; but at the same time, I was also really happy and relieved that she’s alive.
As you can imagine, I was terrified and worried while she was gone. I felt really helpless because I was so far away; I felt really bad that I couldn’t do anything for her. I wanted to hug her so bad, comfort her, and be there for her, but I can’t. It’s one of the downsides of living thousands of miles away from your family.
After the incident, as we were talking, it sounded like Woman 2 was also expecting my dad to be with my mom when she met Woman 1. From then on, I feared for their lives. My husband and I arranged for my parents to fly here as soon as they could. I wanted them here with me and I didn’t want them to ever leave.
There is so much to be thankful for when that happened. Of course, I’m beyond grateful that my mom was able to survive what happened to her unscratched. Plus, the fact that things started falling into their proper places so that they could go here was another thing to be thankful for. And knowing what kind of person Woman 2 really is early in the process saved us before she has done something worse (maybe to me or my kids). She was planning to visit us and stay at our house before that happened. Just imagining what could have happened while she was here is making me cringe.
Because of what happened, I discovered a whole new love for my mom. Of course, I do love her even before it happened. But we also had a huge misunderstanding that got really messy because of Woman 2. We stopped talking for over a year because the pain she made me feel was just too much. Back then, she made it seem like she didn’t really want to be in our lives, in my kids’ lives. We eventually talked again a few months after my son was born but we didn’t really resolve our past issues. But it wasn’t the same, I knew in my heart that I was still hurting.
If that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have made an effort to make her feel how special she truly is. I wouldn’t have opened myself up to her again. I wouldn’t have made an effort for us to be together again. I wouldn’t have wanted to let her in my kids’ lives. I wouldn’t have asked them to live here with us.
We Lost My Daughter During A Beach Trip
Three months ago, during my birthday week, my husband and I decided to go on a day trip to a beach near us. We went to Sandy Point State Park. It was an hour drive from where we live. We were having an amazing time until my daughter got lost. We lost her for a few minutes; but thankfully, one lady got her back to me – safe and unharmed.
Because of what happened, my husband and I learned the hard way that we shouldn’t let them out of our sight. We realized that it only takes a second for them to disappear. And if we’re not lucky, she could have disappeared in our lives forever.
Losing her at the beach had also taught me to REALLY appreciate everything I have. I started to recognize that having my patience tested (all the time) is a blessing because that meant I still have 2 kids to raise and take care of. It made me realize that even if I am always exhausted and stressed out, I am still fortunate because both my kids are with me. And even if sometimes, I can’t even enjoy showering or my bathroom breaks, or if I don’t get some time to myself, there’s nowhere I’d rather be than with this chaotic small family of mine.
My Son Had Anaphylactic Shock
My son has a severe peanut allergy. Last week, he had accidentally eaten a Reese’s peanut butter cup the kids got from Halloween. It wasn’t until around 25 minutes later that he started struggling to breathe. I wasn’t even aware that he was already having anaphylactic shock. Good thing we were able to administer his EpiPen shot at the right time and rushed him to an Emergency Care unit; or else, it would have been too late.
My husband and parents would always tell me that my favorite child is my daughter. And I would ALWAYS disagree with them. I would always tell them I don’t have a favorite child; and I would ALWAYS try my best not to favor anyone. If I needed to buy my daughter something, I would always make sure that I also get one for my son; or if my daughter hit my son, I would always make sure that I talk to her about it and try my best for it not to happen again.
But that night opened my eyes to what I couldn’t see before. I started to see what they were talking about. I am more affectionate with my daughter – I hug her all the time and tell her I love her; as soon as I hear her cry, I would rush towards her. It’s not that I don’t hug my son or that I don’t tell him I love him; I do both things to him. It’s just not as frequent as I would do it to my daughter. It’s not that I don’t comfort him when he cries; of course, I do. He is a very sensitive child and would cry ALL THE TIME. I guess that also played a part why I wasn’t as alarmed when he starts to cry; because he cries for just about anything. So in my mind, he’s just being his usual self. These don’t mean that I love him any less; I love him as much as my daughter! I just wasn’t as expressive with him as I am with my daughter; and I don’t know why.
Seeing him struggling to breathe and then finding out later on that it would have been too late for him had we not given him his EpiPen shot at the right time, made me realize that I shouldn’t waste any second to express my love for him. Things could have gone tragic that day, and I would have missed all the chances I had to show him just how much I love him. That night, I promised myself that I will tell him and show him how much I love him, every chance I get.
The last time we went to see my son’s allergist, I asked if there’s anything that could be done to treat his allergy. I was told the only thing we could do is wait and run tests every year to find out how he’s doing with it. It doesn’t sound reassuring, does it? But because of what happened, and me writing about it, some moms have reached out to me and and told me about sublingual immunotherapy that’s being done by Allergy Associates of La Crosse for 45 years now. Based on what I read so far, sublingual immunotherapy is supposed to treat the allergy by administering allergy drops to the patient. I still have to do some more reading and research about it; and I still have to contact them to find out if there’s a possibility that my son’s peanut allergy can be treated. But I wouldn’t have found out about this, if that didn’t happen.
These bad things could have ended tragically; and I could have lost the 3 of the most important people in my life. But I AM SO GRATEFUL that I didn’t; and that I am given a second chance to show them how much they mean to me and tell them how much I love them. And even though I wouldn’t wish any of these to anyone, not even to worst enemy, I’m thankful they happened. Because if not for these experience, I wouldn’t have learned all the lessons I learned, and I wouldn’t have realized all the things I did. These bad things helped me grow as a person.
I know that these bad things are maybe nothing compared to the things that you are going through or have gone through. But I hope somehow, you found comfort in my stories and the positive things that came out from it. And I hope you find the strength you need to get up and push forward. If you’re not yet ready to do it, that’s fine as well. I certainly wish that someday you get to see the good in all the things that you have gone through, and be thankful for them; no matter how hurt, devastated, and scared you feel right now.
One thing that has been really helping me when I don’t understand the things that were happening to me is my faith that things, regardless if they’re good or bad, happen for a reason. And whatever that reason is, it’s always for the best. Most of the time, things would always work out the way they should.
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I wish you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving!
What did you think of this post? Have you ever gone through something bad in your life? How did you move on from it? What did you learn from it? Let me know in the comments. You know I always love to hear from you.