Confessions Of A Yelling Mom

I must admit (I always have) I am not the best mom any child could ever have. But something happened last night that made me realize how terrible I am as a mother to my kids.

My kids have always had their schedule that we strictly follow even when on vacation. Everything we do, even on weekends, revolves around their schedule. They have to have eaten lunch by this time; they have to have taken their nap by this time; and they have to be in bed by 8 PM every single night. And being a rule follower, if they are unable to do what they’re supposed to do according to their schedule, I get stressed out!

My daughter can only fall asleep if I’m laying beside her and hugging her. So every night, I have to put her to bed (while my husband puts our son to bed), before I can go on and do what I have to do.

Last night, as I was putting my daughter to bed, she kept on playing no matter how much I told her that it’s time to go to sleep. That particular night, she didn’t want to listen. I checked the clock and it was almost 9:30 at night. I panicked at the thought that she’s still up way past her bedtime. So I yelled at her to sleep! She cried!

At that point, I couldn’t control my emotions. I yelled again! And as if I wasn’t contented, I yelled again putting all the energy I have in it, and then she cried hysterically!

At that point, I knew what I did was wrong! VERY WRONG! But for some reason, I couldn’t contain myself. I couldn’t even bring myself to comfort her. I was just laying there thinking about what a monster I was. And then my husband came inside the room and told me it was too much!

I went downstairs and asked my husband to put our daughter to bed because obviously I couldn’t do what I’m supposed to do. And then I started thinking what a terrible person I’ve been. I wanted to undo what I did but I can’t. I wanted to vanish because I let things get out of my hand. While these thoughts were running through my head, I heard my daughter crying hysterically. She followed me downstairs and sat beside me on the couch. She touched my face and wanted to look me in the eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to. She moved on the other side and attempted to look at me again. I looked at her; her eyes were pleading. I started crying hysterically! I hugged her as tight as I could and apologized nonstop. She hugged me back which made me cry even more.

I gathered myself and looked at her. I apologized again and asked her if she’s okay. My husband joined us, hugged her and told her that Mommy loves her. I apologized to my husband too; and I started crying hysterically again.

As soon as I gathered myself again, I got my daughter a glass of water. I asked my husband if he was mad at me for doing what I did. He said he’s not; he’s just disappointed. Right then and there, I knew I failed. I was a failure! It was like I was stabbed with a knife. The pain was too much! I cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.

My husband I talked (while my daughter was doing all these crazy things to my face because I was crying). He said he knows that I’m trying not to yell at my kids; but I need to try harder. I asked him what if I can’t do it. He said I have to; it’s the right thing to do. And the fact that I realized what I did was wrong, I am on the right path. I told him I feel unworthy; I don’t think I deserve to be a mom of our precious kids. He said we’ve had amazing memories together; my kids love me so much; and I shouldn’t let a few bad things cloud over the happy memories that we’ve made.

He was right! It’s the right thing to do and I shouldn’t give up because of what happened. I should start looking at last night as my defining moment; my wake-up call.

That night, I realized I no longer want to be that mom who yells at her kids when she’s stressed out or when she’s upset. I was weak; I let the devil get the best of me. But I should get up, and work REALLY HARD on everything I could to make sure that that monster will be forever trapped in a cave away from our kids.

Last night, I also realized how lucky I am. I am very blessed to have a husband and daughter who are very forgiving; who loves and accepts me despite my shortcomings. I can’t believe how fortunate I am to have not just a husband, but a partner who believes in me and who continuously guides me so I can be the best version of myself.

And because of all these things, I will strive even more to rise above this challenge. So last night, I prayed! I prayed as hard as I could for His guidance and help so what happened last night won’t happen again.

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Have you ever yelled at your kids? I do! And no matter how much I've been trying not to, I still find myself yelling from every now and again. Last night, it got absolutely out of hand. I wasn't proud of it. In fact, I feel like a MONSTER! I was a FAILURE! | yelling at kids | yelling | yelling mom | yelling at kids stop | motherhood struggles | motherhood challenges | parenting struggles

What did you think of this post? Did you ever experience this? How did you overcome it? What tips would you give me and other moms that helped you control your emotions? Let me know in the comments. You know I always love to hear from you.

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Kisses, Belle - blog post signature

  • Michelle Alferez

    So touching story. Sometimes we really can’t control our emotions. ❤❤❤

  • Ashley Markwood

    Thank you for your honesty! Sometimes it’s so hard to reel it in…especially at the end of the day when exhaustion is at an all time high! Hang in there mama! xo

  • I totally yell at my kids sometimes and have even cried on the drive to work a few times since I felt so horrible about the way I spoke to them. But you can always apologize and start fresh. (at least that is what I tell myself) I am still working on the whole non-yelling (or yelling less) thing myself, so I can relate. You are doing a wonderful job!!

  • Inez Bayardo

    This made ME want to cry! I have been reading a lot about gentle parenting and I’ve seen many posts about how yelling (and spanking) will damage our kids forever. Yes, I think that yelling can be damaging. Will an outburst here or there do it? Probably not. Should we strive NOT to yell at our kids? Yes, I think so! However, what you did was also a very teachable moment for your daughter. You felt remorse to the point that it brought you to tears. You showed her that she is a human deserving of respect when you cried over your mistake. I think that being a mom that is willing to admit her mistakes and show her humanity to her kids will go much further in a positive way than one night of “losing it” will go in a negative one. You are a GREAT mom, Belle!

  • You’re so brave to share your story mama! I could relate and actually picture this in my head because I too have to lay with my son and sometimes I can feel the frustration building when he won’t go to sleep because I just know I have a million other things that need to be done but yet I still want to savor the moment of him needing me. Thanks for sharing your heart with us to help us all be better mamas!

  • Denay DeGuzman

    Belle, just your writing this post tells us you are an EXCELLENT mother. Don’t allow yourself to believe anything different. We all have those moments when we’re stressed out, tired and cranky. We’re human. Forgive yourself, move forward with happiness, and that moment in time will be forgotten.

    • Thank you, Denay! You are really sweet! And your words are absolutely encouraging!

  • Dikla Frances

    A bad mom would think that the kid is the problem, which leads me to believe that you are indeed a good mom. An awesome mom😉 .Feeling this way was part of the deal…yeah…

  • Brittany Albert

    Such a touching story!

  • I think we have all been here as moms and I know my saving grace is just what you did, apologize and ask for your precious babes forgiveness. I have learned taking a time out for myself here and there is helpful too!
    xo, nicole

    • Thank you! I’ve been trying to control myself these days and so far, I haven’t messed up! Yay!

  • Sally Pederson

    You are not a bad mom. We all get stressed out and kids are not easy to take care of. It would be a different story if you were yelling at your kids all the time.

  • Clair Mozingo Cook

    Yes! I have been guilty of being a yelling mom, more times than I like to admit 🙁 I have to step away and breathe…Once I walk away to get a hold of my emotions, I always feel so much better. Oh and lots and lots of praying for patience 😊

  • Babies to Bookworms

    I think we have all been guilty of being the yelling mom! I feel terrible once I have raised my voice and I hate for my daughter to be upset because of something I did.

  • Yolanda

    Don’t beat yourself up. It’s normal to lose it every so often. Being a mom doesn’t mean being perfect so it’s okay to just be human too.

  • Shell

    I think it’s normal to lose it every now and then…

  • This was an interesting read, and your emotions were so relatable.!

  • At some point in time, we all get pushed to the edge. Each time we admit our mistakes, apologize and make amends, keeping a cool head gets easier.

  • Emily Bendler

    Everyone loses it once it a while. It doesn’t make you a failure or a bad mom, it makes you human. Yes apologize and yes try harder, but don’t beat yourself up about it.

  • i feel like i will be in the same boat. my husband tells me i need to be more positive, overall. and i also cuddle my daughter to sleep. eek! i think you are doing great! nobody is perfect, and reflecting is a lot more than most people do.

  • Natalie Aubele

    I think we have all been their mama ! We are only human and we have the hardest job raising these little crazy humans! Don’t dwell on it , I’ve SO been there more than once. ❤️

  • Keala Lang

    Oh I think we have all been there. We are not perfect and we all have moments we lose it. And they aren’t the best moments or the most convenient. But your daughter knows you love her. And this is just one moment among many more happy ones. Chin up momma tomorrow is a new day!

  • Nicole Banuelos

    Definitely have been there and done that. I always try to step away for a breather. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t.

  • Jenni Petrey

    You’re not alone, we’ve all been in this position. I just have to consciously remind myself to breathe and speak calmly.

  • Devon Bernthal

    I’ve been there. The important thing is that you apologized to your daughter. It’s important for our kids to know that we make mistakes too and the right thing to do is apologize.

  • Taylor Reese

    definitely not a bad mom. thanks for sharing!!

  • Aw it sounds like you are doing amazing! It sounds like your daughter knows how much love you have for her and even through the fallings out, that is most important 😀 sometimes you have to let your emotions and feelings out but just follow your instincts of what is right and wrong, it’s so admirable you have such awareness of your emotions and those around you, it is amazing trait to have! I love your blog! xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara
    (lets follow each other on bloglovin or instagram)

  • Oh mama, we’ve all been there. Just recognizing what you need to do different is a step in the right direction. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I usually walk away and catch my breath. Then send my husband in! Ha

  • Jane Dee Wylie

    Definitely not a bad mom! Although my mother didn’t yell a lot, I have distinct memories of a couple of her fits. Lol. My grandmother (who helped raise me and my siblings), on the other hand was a yeller. And to this day these two women still mean the world to me, and I don’t think anyone could have been better. I bet your kids will feel the same way.

  • Firenze McCowald

    I was actually struggling with this same issue THIS VERY MORNING! Then I realized ***I am short on sleep*** and resolved to try to fix this ASAP in order to lengthen my own fuse. so I’m no longer losing patience with my kiddos when they don’t hear me the first (6) time(s)!

  • shootingstarsmag

    You’re in no way a bad mom! I know parents that are constantly yelling at their kids, so the fact that you did it and felt so bad right away? You’re doing a good job! Stress gets the best of us.

    -Lauren
    http://www.shootingstarsmag.net

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