How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

Are you in a long distance relationship or thinking of being in one? Click on the image to find out what helped this couple make their long distance relationship work.

Have you ever wondered if long distance relationship is for you? Have you ever felt so strongly for someone but decided to just let those feelings go because that special someone is in a different timezone and the fear of not being constantly together might destroy your relationship? While I am not an expert in long distance relationships, I’ve been in one for 2 years. He lives in the U.S. while I was in the Philippines. So I wanted to share how our long distance relationship ended in marriage and me FINALLY living in the U.S. with him.

How Our Long Distance Relationship Started

My husband and I were schoolmates in college. We met during our freshman year and have remained friends since. A few years after our graduation, we met one night while he was in Manila. And that’s when we both found out that we’ve liked each other since college but we never got around to telling each other that because we were both in a serious relationship then. We had a great time that night that we still decided to go out for a few more times even if he was about to leave for the U.S. in a few days.

The day before he left, he told me he wanted to be in a serious relationship with me. Back then, he just got out of a very serious relationship and I was just moving on from a very messy and crazy relationship. It wasn’t the perfect situation for us but I’ve always loved taking risks so I decided to wait and see where the long distance relationship would lead us. It wasn’t easy and it was a huge adjustment for me but I believe these are the things that helped us made our relationship work.

Maturity

Back when I was younger, I would always think that I don’t deserve a good guy. I felt like someone who has a “bad boy” image suits me better (we’ve all been in this phase, right?). I guess the challenge that comes with being with someone that can never be fully yours is what fuels my desire to get the unattainable. It took me innumerable broken hearts, countless times of crying myself to sleep, and drinking every night just to numb the pain to realize what I really want in a relationship.

Although I honestly don’t regret any of the relationships I’ve been in; at the time, those were the things that I wanted, and those are the things that made me happy. Those failed relationships actually helped me realize that I don’t deserve any of those crap; and I deserve someone who will love me and me alone, someone who will treat me like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world (even if I’m really not). And that is how my then-boyfriend made me feel. He managed to make me feel loved and secured even though he was thousands of miles away. So I am thankful for my heartbreaks; because without them I wouldn’t have come to appreciate how lucky I am to have found my husband.

And with all the failed relationships that we both have been through, with all the challenges that came with long distance relationships that we've faced together like not being together especially when it mattered, it was our maturity that helped us realize that what we have is exactly what we want and what we need. And because of that, no matter what happened, we strove to make it work, all the time. Click on the image to find out what helped this couple make their long distance relationship work.

Of course, he had his own share of heartbreaks like everyone else does; but I won’t go into any details out of respect for him. And with all the failed relationships that we both have been through, with all the challenges that came with long distance relationships that we’ve faced together like not being together especially when it mattered, it was our maturity that helped us realize that what we have is exactly what we want and what we need. And because of that, no matter what happened, we strove to make it work, all the time.

Communication

Constant communication is also very important in long distance relationships. When my husband and I lived thousands of miles apart, we would always chat or Skype twice a day, every single day. Whenever I would go out with my friends, I would stay up late when I get home just to make sure that I still have time to talk to him; and he does the same too.

To make up for being thousands of miles away from each other, we would talk about everything that happened in our day – what made us smile, what made us upset, who we ate lunch with, what we ate, everything. It was our way to somehow make the other person be a part of our day; and in the process, we got to know each other a little bit more every day too.

And even when we argue, we still talk. Now, that was something that was really hard for me. When I’m angry, I tend to not say a word and just keep it all inside me. But being in a long distance relationship, I learned that we have to talk through everything even if I don’t want to because we won’t be able to solve any problem we have if we don’t. It took a while but I got used to it.

Virtual Dates

Being in a long distance relationship means that you don’t get to go out on dates so you have to be creative. We don’t go out on public places and Skype with each other while we’re dining out; ours was pretty simple. We both love watching movies so we would simply watch a movie together; special thanks to Skype’s “Desktop Share” functionality.

Every weekend, we would decide what we want to watch and then he’d usually play it on his laptop; then he’d share his desktop with me so I could watch with him. He did this all the time because his internet is way too faster than mine. My internet would get interrupted here and there but we just kept at it and up to now, I still think of those virtual dates as the fun times that we did even if we were living too thousands of miles away from each other.

Trust

This is very important in any relationship that you’ll be in; and it’s even more important if you’re in a long distance relationship. You have to trust that the other person, even though thousands of miles away  from you, loves you enough to not cheat on you and not do anything to ruin your relationship.

For someone who has been in a lot of messy relationships like myself, it was really hard for me to trust someone, let alone someone whom I cannot be with every day. But believe me, if you’re with someone who’s worthy of your trust, you’ll just know it and trust will be earned easily. And I guess it really helped that both of us were in the same page and wanted a monogamous relationship.

It was meant to be

It may sound cliché but I think he is the one God has planned for me. I mean, seriously, we could have given our relationship everything we could to make it work but in the end, if it wasn't meant to be, something's bound to happen that will cause it to end even if we didn't want it to. Click on the image to find out what helped this couple make their long distance relationship work.

I honestly believe that our long distance relationship worked out the way it did because it was meant to be. It may sound cliché but I think he is the one God has planned for me. I mean, seriously, we could have given our relationship everything we could to make it work but in the end, if it wasn’t meant to be, something’s bound to happen that will cause it to end even if we didn’t want it to. And that is why, I thank God every night before I go to bed for bringing him into my life.

There was this one time when I was trying to find some files in his laptop and I came across a picture he had saved in there with a filename “MeantToBe”. I opened it and to my surprise, it was one of our pictures; it made my heart melt. Isn’t it funny that we were both thinking the same thing?

couple together after being in a long distance relationship

Here’s one of our pictures which was taken shortly after I arrived here in the U.S.

Our relationship wasn’t perfect; we’ve had our ups and downs. To be honest, at some point either of us wanted to get out. But we made it work; and if we were able to do it, anyone who has the right attitude and mindset could too.

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? How did you make it work? What did you think of this post? Let me know in the comments. You know I always love to hear from you.

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Kisses, Belle - blog post signature

  • You two have the right attitude, and the same principles apply even when you’re in the same town as your significant other. I think it takes two special people to make it work, two people committed to seeing it through. You’re both lucky to have one another!

    • That is so true! Thank you!

  • Our first year of dating my husband and I lived 2 hours apart. We had sooo many long phone conversations. (Texting and skype were not popular at that time.) That year apart was difficult at times, but also very important because it stretched us individually and as a couple.

    • I couldn’t agree more! Thank you for sharing!

  • Love this. My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for a long time before getting married, so this resonated with me!

    • Thank you! And thank you for sharing!

  • I applaud the fact that you guys made a long distance relationship work. My fiance and I lived in two different states and within a week, we decided we couldn’t do it anymore so he moved to California. However, when you know… you know!
    xoxo, Christina
    http://www.xoxochristina.com

    • That is so true – when you know, you know! Thank you for sharing!

  • Thank you for sharing! I’ve been through a few long-distance relationships myself. The last one was short distance (2 hours away), and the power of positivity helped a lot!

    • It definitely does. Thank you for sharing!

  • I love this post! So cool to learn about how you two met. Constant communication is definitely key. It can definitely work if you both love each other and put in the effort. You guys are adorable! Also, I totally went through the “bad boy” faze in college and that normally never lasts haha

    Xoxo Amber

    • Haha! It’s quite relieving to know that I’m not the only one who went through that. That’s so true; love and effort really matter. Thank you! 🙂

  • Yes, communication is key! As long as you can talk about things, I think you have an awesome foundation that you will always be able to fall back on!

  • Your story is so inspiring for other long distance couples. Where was this when I needed it last summer? My husband traveled for work for six months for work. It was tough, but we survived with video chats and tons of late night calls. We made it through with lots of trust and communication.

    • It really is hard, isn’t it! But we get out of it stronger as a couple than ever, right? 🙂 Thank you for sharing.

  • Yay, a long distance success story! I’ve been in a long distance relationship for about 6 months, I went to stay with him for 3 of those months and now I’m back home. He’s still across the country. It’s so unbelievably hard. But if you both want it to work, it will work. 🙂 Congratulations!

    • It really is hard. Until now, I can’t imagine how I did it. Lol! That is so true; if you really want it to work, you’ll do everything to make it work! Thank you for sharing your story!

  • My hubs and I dated from us to England and it was so difficult but created such a strong cornerstone for our marriage

    • That is so true! It is hard but it makes you stronger as a couple. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • I think that communication is a big one. And Virtual dates I have never thought about it before but what a good idea.

  • Love this. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years before marrying that person. While our marriage didn’t work out in the end, I am always someone who thinks long distance is totally possible. 🙂

    • So sorry to hear about your marriage. And yes, long distance relationship is totally possible. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • I was in a long distance relationship once. It didn’t work out and it mostly failed because he wasn’t always honest when we communicated. But, lack of open, honest communication would make any relationship fail.
    Congrats on making it work 🙂

    • I am so sorry to hear that it didn’t work out for you. That is so true; communication is important in any relationship. Thank you and thank you for sharing your story.

  • When my husband and I were dating, we were in a long distance relationship. We only saw each other on weekends. I agree completely with having trust and lots of communication.

    • Thank you for sharing your story!

  • This is great to hear. Thanks for sharing. I also know someone in a long distance relationship in two different countries and it’s encouraging to hear how it can work.

  • haha I smiled reading the part about you liking bad guys….. it was SO me at one time too. My husband is one of the good ones…. actually GREAT! I never thought I deserved him nor was I interested. You are so right…. maturity def sets in. We also dated long distance for two years before we got married. Communication is DEF key!

    • Haha! Good to know I wasn’t the only one. I guess you really have to go through that phase to realize what you deserve. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • You have great insight! My husband and I are sometimes STILL in a long distance relationship because he is in the military. It is hard, but if its worth it to you then it’s worth it!

    • Absolutely! Thank you for sharing your story!

  • Absolutely loved this post hun and i’m SO glad that it all worked out for you guys 🙂 My partner and I were long distance for 3 years so I completely know how you feel – and agree that communication is key!

    • Thank you! And thank you for sharing your story! 🙂

  • 21flavorsofsplendor

    Loved your story! And I totally can relate to wanting to date the bad boys. I only started dating my now hubby after I got tired of being treated bad by the bad boys. I was also in a long distance relationship with my hubby for almost 2 years while we were dating, so I know first hand that you can make it work if it is meant to be.

    • Thank you! I guess we really have to go through that phase to realize what we deserve. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • One of my sisters and her husband started their relationship (and beginning years of marriage!) apart, since he is in the military. You’re right! If it is God’s will and both people are committed and truly invested, love can grow and it absolutely can work! I’m so happy that everything worked out for you two. Many blessings to the both of you! What a beautiful story 🙂 xoxo

    • Awww! Thank you! I couldn’t agree more to everything you said. Thank you for sharing their story.

  • Loved this! My husband and I were long distance for 4 years while dating. It was soooo hard but worth it in the end. Your tips are great!

    • Thank you! And thank you for sharing your story!

  • This was interesting to me. I’ve never been in a long term relationship really. We did believe my husband was going to deploy with his national guard unit but thankfully he ended up not having to go.

    • Thank you! That’s awesome! 🙂

  • I loved reading this super sweet love story! My husband proposed on New Years, and then left for five months to study abroad in Russia-a lot of couples wouldnt have been able to take it, but we struggled through. Thats as close to an long-distance relationship as I’ve had

    • Thank you! That is so true! It really is a struggle but it makes you stronger than ever. Thank you for sharing your story!

  • twoboysonepup

    How sweet! I think trust is such a huge contributor. Without it, even the communication won’t thrive! I love that you guys watched movies “together” too! Shared experiences are key and we’re so lucky to live in a time when we can do that, while being far away!

    • Thank you! That is so true! I can’t imagine how we would have done it if the only thing we had was phone and snail mail. I guess we’ll rack up a huge phone bill for always making international calls. Lol.

  • What a precious story–love it! I never really thought about how many options are available for long distance couples nowadays. You sure made the most of technology to make things work for you. Awesome!

  • I’ve never been in a long distance relationship. It was interesting to her about all the challenges.

  • Beautiful story. Its refreshing to hear that you made it work. Skype was useful for us too (we were on different coasts) 🙂

    • Thank you! I love Skype! And thank you for sharing your story!

  • My husband and I were in a long distance relationship too! I totally agree with all of your points, especially the first one. You have to be mature and strong enough to endure all of the pitfalls! Great post, friend!

    Alina | http://www.besosalina.com

    • Thanks, Alina! And thank you for sharing your story!

  • This is very sweet. I totally agree that God can have someone that you are “meant to be with”. My husband and I had 5 months apart when we were dating. Your story reminded me of that time. This was back in 2005 so we did a lot of talking and texting on our flip phones, lol. Thank you for sharing you and your husband’s story.

    • Thank you! And thank you for sharing your story as well. 🙂

  • All relationships take work, but being far apart can be so straining. I’m sure there are many out there that will find comfort in this story. Great share!

    • That is so true! Thank you!

  • Inspiring story for couples in LDR 🙂 Your tips are great, too!

  • Congratulations on making it work . I couldn’t imagine my husband being that far away we’ve lived together since highschool

  • Anita, Maurice Mckaney

    My now husband was my virtual boyfriend for many months. It is not so taboo anymore to meet and sustain meaningful relationships online.

    • That’s so true! And thank to technology for making it so much easier. 🙂

  • This is all so true and inspiring. I love long distance relationships.

  • Maturity and trust are so key in every relationship but especially in a long distance one! Great points!

  • loveyoumoretoo

    I love that you were able to make it work for you. Your story is inspirational. I am a loong time married lady now, but these tips are so helpful for anyone who is in your shoes.

  • What a love story! Such a good read and great points for anyone who is in a long distance relationship.

  • caseyp1110

    I think the trust part is hard for most in long distance relationships, so kudos to you guys for making it work!

    • That is so true! Thank you!

  • My husband and I started out as long distance, though our distance was in the same time zone! I think the biggest reason we worked out is because we knew early on someone was going to have to move to continue the relationship. It took a year, but I got a job in NY and moved to be closer to him.

    • Thank you for sharing your story!

  • Stephanie

    This is so awesome Belle, I love it. Such a great read.

    • Thank you, Stephanie!

  • So true! No matter where you live

  • bloomingwildandfree

    This was so amazing! I will be passing this along to one of my friends thats in a long distance relationship!

    • Thank you! I hope your friend finds this helpful.

  • This post is so incredibly well done girl. My bf is a touring musician, often I’m asked how we manage with him being on the road so much. You’ve nailed it! Glad to have found your site!

    • Thank you! And thank you for sharing your story!

  • Meredith from Mommy in Leggings

    This is such an amazing post!! You two are just precious together, it’s like a fairy tale!!!

    • Awww! Thanks, Meredith! I couldn’t believe how everything fell into its rightful place too. But I’m very grateful they did!

  • What a great post!! i think trust is everything in a relationship!! You are such a beautiful couple!! Happy New Year:-)

    • Thank you! Happy New Year!

  • Thank you for sharing! I too was one attracted to the “bad boys” and had my heart broken one too many times. You are absolutely right that when it is right then things just fall into place and you really can make the relationship work under any circumstances.

    • I guess we all have to go through that phase to realize what we deserve. Thank you!

  • I loved this post so much! You are so right. I had my fair share of the “bad boy” type and then I met “the one” at the most unexpected time and it couldn’t have been more perfect! We did long distance for just a little while, and I am so glad we made it work!

    xo Rachel | http://www.thesassroom.com

    • That’s really great! Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Thanks for sharing this post! I know long distance relationships are really hard and I know that communication is the most important part of these relationships! I love that you found someone amazing and you both are making it work! It takes so much work for a relationship even without the strain of miles and miles apart! You guys are so cute and I hope the best for you both!

  • You two have such a great story and it’s wonderful how you are making it work! I deal with this on a smaller scale since my husband frequently has to work out of state and is gone for months at a time. It’s definitely difficult, but it’s also an opportunity to grow and to become a closer couple. I wish the best for you!

    • That is so true! Thank you! And thank you for sharing your story.

  • Thank you so much for sharing! This was such a great post! Seriously so many kudos to your and those that do long distance relationships! You all are such strong people and I love seeing this kind of love!!
    xo, Roselyn
    http://www.thestylelynnlife.com

  • MK

    Kudos to you on an excellent writeup with relatable and personable examples. This is so much better than a Top 10 style list.

    • Haha! Thank you! 🙂

  • Do all of us go through the bad guy phase?! So glad it all worked out for you! And about God having a plan – cliche – but most cliche’s are true! I definitely identify. 🙂

    • I am not sure if all us go through the bad guy phase; I’d love to think that though lol. Thank you!

  • I just want to cry right now because this is just too beautiful. What a message. I’m currently going through a long distance relationship and it’s hard I must say. We call each other every day and we pray together but never really thought of virtual dates. I may have to do that more often and encourage him to do so as well. Thank you so much. This really means a lot and so happy you were able to make it work gives me hope. -Jocelyne from resonatecreations.com

    • I am glad that you found this helpful. It really is hard being in a long distance relationship but I know you’re strong. I wish you and your partner will get to be together for good in the near future! Thank you so much for sharing your story.

  • Shane

    This is so great you were able to push past the tough times! Sadly my long distance relationship from Australia didn’t have such a great fate.

    • Awww! So sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing your story though.

  • Lovely post! I’ve never been in a long distance relationship, mostly because I know that I am not willing to move my life due to family commitments. I’m so happy that your’s worked out though and you have a life that you love because of your commitment.

  • I believe you two had the right factors to make your LDR work. I was once in one, back in my early 20s. It didn’t work out in the end, but I think communication wasn’t good enough between us.

    • Thank you! I honestly think that if we had our relationship when I was younger, it probably didn’t have worked out either because I wasn’t in the right mindset. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Love this Belle! Long distance sucks but I believe if you can get through it you can make it through anything! 🙂

    • That is so true! Thank you, Nicole!

  • So sweet! Long distance relationships are tough, but totally worth it with the right person.

    • That is so true! Thank you!

  • toughcookiemommy

    These are some great tips for surviving a long-distance relationship. My husband and I had one while he was in the Army and we were dating and we have been married for almost 18 years.

    • Thank you! And thank you for sharing your story!

  • My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for years while we dated. We did it and it worked…and its because we were the focus for each other. It just worked – but not for everyone!

    • That’s really great! Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Kimberly @ Berly’s Kitchen

    That’s awesome that you guys made it work. It sounds like you had some of the most important aspects figured out early on. 🙂 I think I’d be completely lost. Lol!!

    • Lol! I didn’t know that at the time we were living too far away; all I know was that he’s what I want and I love him. Now, looking back, I guess I realize that’s how our relationship was able to survive the distance. 🙂

  • Debra

    My husband and I did a long distance relationship for 7 months before we got married. I remember not loving it at all but we made it work and are so glad we did and waited for each other.

    • It really is hard; I didn’t like it at all either. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • angela@marathonsandmotivation.com

    I love this post so much. It’s so sweet and like you said, I think it’s MEANT TO BE. When you know, you make things work.

  • Amy

    I loved this post! My boyfriend and I did long distance for 2 years before we finally moved in together. Communication is definitely key!

    xoxo,
    Amy

    http://www.styleandsequins.com

    • That’s awesome! Thank you for sharing your story!

  • terristeffes

    My long distance relationship was 100 miles! It seemed huge though. We wrote long letters (which we still have) and make weekly phone calls.

    • I’d still consider that long distance relationship! That’s awesome! I find writing letters so romantic! Thank you for sharing your story.

  • I had one long distance relationship while I was in college…before the birth of the Internet we know today. I suspect that would have made the distance seem smaller.

    • It would have. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • while hard to have it can be done my daughter has one where she can only see her man on the weekends the plan is to move closer to each other but it has been going on for a bit and working out
    come see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com

    • That’s awesome! It really is hard but it’s so worth it in the end. Thank you for sharing her story. 🙂

  • I’ve never had a VERY long distance relationship. My fiancee was 90 minutes away until we moved in together & that was plenty far enough 🙂

    • Hehe! Thank you for sharing your story. 🙂

  • I had a long distance relationship once when I was younger. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about this anymore. I couldn’t do it again.

    • Awww! It is hard. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • theclutterboxblog

    I’ve never been in a long term relationship before and can not imagine how hard it would be to trust someone in that situation. Communication really is key.

    • It really is. Thank you for stopping by.

  • What a sweet story. Thanks for sharing!

  • Since I’ve been married since the beginning of time (I got married at 23-gasp), I’ve never been in a long distance relationship but I do believe that “when you know, you know”.

    • I guess that’s really true! Thank you!

  • I don’t think long distance relationships are for everyone. I was in one in my early 20’s, needless to say it didn’t work out. Of course that is ok by my, but still…it was hard.

    • So sorry to hear that. But yes, I do believe it’s not for everyone. You have to have the right mindset and attitude to survive the distance. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • This is great. Luckily I don’t have to even think about this type of thing anymore but I’m sure it can be an issue for many, glad there are ways to make it work!

  • reesann723

    As a military wife, my husband and I spent many years in a long distance relationship. I’ve always felt if you really want to make it work, you will. This is great and I hope it can give someone the advise they need to help through this stressful time!

    • That is so true! And thank you for sharing your story!

  • Tara Holland

    Long distance relationships are so tough, but you are right that you can make them work if you both really want to. The key to making any relationship work is communication.

    • That is so true! Thank you!

  • Megan mccoig

    I’ve never been in one myself but certainly think you’ve got the right attitude. I can imagine it being hard but it’s good to stay positive and strong. I know so many people who have made it work!

  • Samantha Lee

    This is adorable! You have such great tips, too. I’m in a long distance relationship at the moment, and my heart is always warmed when I hear about long distance relationships working out. It reassures me that it’s possible for my relationship to succeed, as hard as long distance can be.

    • Sometimes, we also need reassurance, right? Good luck with yours! I hope you get to be with your special someone soon for good! Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am so inspired by this. God bless you!
    xo Debbie | http://www.tothineownstylebetrue.com

    • Thank you! That means a lot!

  • almostindianwife

    Trust is definitely a big one. My husband had a traveling job for a while and it was hard. He was gone for half of the year and it was interesting.

    • Thank you! And thank you for sharing your story.

  • Veronica

    I am so happy for you, Belle!
    Long distance relationships demand a lot of patience and wisdom!

    • Thank you! They really do!

  • this is great! and now so many married couples deal with long distance relationships cause of work travel and all your tips can still be used!

    • Thank you! That is so true!

  • Getting in a long distance relationship will really test you. Love will never be enough and you’re going to need a lot of patience, trust, and honesty. I think it’s nice that you shared your story because you’re going to help inspire others who are going through the same thing.

    • Thank you! And I couldn’t agree more to what you said!

  • Long-distance is definitely a challenge, but I agree about being meant-to-be. I’m so happy to hear how you and your husband made things work.

  • My husband and I were long distance for a lot of our relationship before we were married. Communication was key – making sure I had enough minutes on my cell phone was also key 🙂 Ahh, the olden days!

    • Thank you for sharing your story!

  • lovelysilvia

    Such a beautiful post! I’ve never had a long distance relationship but these are some great tips to make it work.

    • Thank you! I am glad you liked it!

  • Long distance relationships are tough – and they are one heck of a commitment! Thank you for sharing your honest opinions and personal story.

    • Thank you! I am glad you liked it!

  • I’ve never been in a long distance relationship. I’m so glad it worked out for you. I’m not sure if I could do it. I guess with Skype and everything else it sure makes it easier. You two are so cute.

    • That is so true! Technology did help out a lot. Thank you!

  • Communication is HUUUUUGE, and virtual dates are so good to see someone’s FACE while talking, laughing, etc. – so important!

    Coming Up Roses

    • That is so true! Thank you!

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